The 2020 Pandemic Epiphany

Currently happily stuck at home due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Unfortunately still tied to the social media world where many covidiots exist. Trying my level best not to fall into that category by continuing my writing and thinking of all the money I’m currently saving from reduced travelling and gluttony.

Epiphany No 1:

When the Movement Restriction Order was imposed on 18 March, I first thought about what a waste of the school holiday for the children! Aisehman. They must be pretty bored, creativity unstimulated, children probably forced to watch TV or handed an iPad to stay quiet (are iPads still a thing?), parents fiddling with their phones, unamused.

As the days passed by, working from home, I made a mental note to call my paati (grandma). The staying-at-home wouldn’t seem unusual to her as she’s home all day, I thought.

I remember a deal we made when we were younger. She would teach me Tamil, and I would teach her English. Remembering to mention “curfew” a few times to make sure I’m at home, she laughed over the phone, not sure if it was because I called or because she learned a new word. It felt like the only call worth making.

Then I thought about a story ammi (my mum) told me, about a paati who had 9 children but was left at the old folks home. That thought triggered another thought where I visited several old folks home a couple of years ago for my company’s CSR activities. The stories the caretakers told me about on how the old folks got there gave me goose bumps. I wonder how they are all coping at this moment.

An isolation within an isolation.

The orphanage! Gosh, a group of 30-40 children in the same cramped household. What about the little ones who don’t understand what’s going on, probably with nobody explaining it to them. Social distancing must be confusing for them.

Ammi tried to keep it positive with me by saying the caretakers probably arranges board game sessions and activities. Wasn’t convincing.

Epiphany No 2:

What if I have it right now? Unknowingly spreading it across my house with ammi with me. How many days do I have left before I’m completely isolated at the hospital??

Needlessly, I thought about all the people I love and loved. Where they at, which country, could they have been infected as well? Already?!? This thing spreads… FAST. Should I call them? What’s the next course of action after hanging up. I’ve never called anyone in my life. Just not a practice. Would it seem fake? Should I text instead? But I never texted some of them before anyways. Would it seem fake? Would I continue to be concerned about their well being after the pandemic settles?

I need to express myself NOW. Make a joke of the whole virus on Instagram and Whatsapp to make sure the last thing I do before leaving Earth is making my circle laugh. I need to express all my love and affection to the people I know, before it’s too late… But what if I make it out alive though, my impulsive actions would seem pretty much like what a covidiot would do.

Relax Mathura. They’ll be fine. Send them a text, react to their stories on Instagram, take it easy, everything is as it seems to be, normal. They’ll be fine.

Every time I have an irrational thought, something tells me to chill. It’s like the angel and the devil on your shoulders telling you one thing after another. I wanted to write a list of people I should check on, to my surprise I didn’t need a list, my fingers were sufficient. Now, is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Epiphany No 3:

I’m both glad and annoyed.

I don’t ‘miss’ nature or the beach or the sunrise and sunset as I’ve come to appreciate these things even more over the years, the morning breeze, the evening sky. It feels like nothing else makes me feel more alive, nothing else matters, even human connection sometimes.

The same sun has been coming up and down every day. Same rain pours every day. Same birds flock to your window every damn day. Takes a pandemic for us to realise all this and I’m both glad and annoyed.

Lower your expectations about people and you’ll realise we actually don’t have much to offer. We just want more of everything, nothing is ever enough.

After the pandemic settles, how long would it take us to go back to our usual ways? 24 hours? I bet.

A song comes to mind…*Who let the dogs out…*barks…